


Your arms are the strongest shields

by KrazySuperGirl



Series: Billions of Beautiful Hearts [6]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alfred is the best, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Bruce Wayne is a good Batdad, Bruce doesnt know how many kids he has, Bruce loves his kids, Dick Grayson is a good big brother, Dick loves his siblings, Domestic Batfamily, Gen, Jason Todd is a Good Big Brother, Medical issues, Non-graphic depiction of a minor character death by suicide, Some angst, Tim Drake is a Good Brother, harper is sweet, lots of fluff, poor precious baby cullen, sibling shenanigans, soft batdad, sorry - Freeform, ventricular septal defect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23382169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrazySuperGirl/pseuds/KrazySuperGirl
Summary: While the kids play together, Bruce remarks to Alfred, “We’ll have to go see Leslie. Cullen apparently has some medical problems, and I’ll have to look into their mother later tonight.”Alfred asks, “I assume they will be staying here at least until this is resolved?”“Yes.” Bruce answers. “That’s what I’d like to do.”“Alright. The boys seem to like them already.” Alfred comments.(Or: two kids are left on W.E.'s doorstep, and one of them is sick. What was Bruce supposed to do? Just leave them there?)
Relationships: Bruce Wayne & Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne & Cullen Row, Bruce Wayne & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Tim Drake & Harper Row & Cullen Row, Bruce Wayne & Harper Row, Cullen Row & Harper Row, Dick Grayson & His Siblings, Minor Bruce Wayne/Selina Kyle
Series: Billions of Beautiful Hearts [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1624645
Comments: 34
Kudos: 440





	Your arms are the strongest shields

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. I'm back.
> 
> So social distancing is new. No school means less anxiety, which means less dependence on my coping method, which is fanfiction. So basically, it's either less hyperfixation and less writing, or more productivity and more writing. I'm not sure yet, but we'll see. I kind of feel like I'm not going to finish everything in this series, but I don't know. Either way, I'll finish everything I can.
> 
> This one was slightly trickier, because Harper and Cullen have very little content, in canon and in fanon, so I had to strike out on my own a bit. There's not as much characterization for them here, because they're little, but it might be more evident in other parts of this series.
> 
> So just some notes for this story:
> 
> A Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD) is more commonly known as a hole in the heart. Some babies are born with it. A lot of the time, depending on its size and placement, it closes on its own, or is small enough to not cause problems. If it is big enough, though, it does cause problems. The baby can usually get it fixed with a simple surgery to patch the hole, but if its left untreated, some side effects might be low energy, difficulty eating, slow growth, delayed brain development, and more.
> 
> I am not a medical professional. This is my best attempt to paraphrase what I've learned from research. If anyone is a medical professional, and sees a mistake or inaccuracy, or even knows a better way to depict this in the story, please do say something in the comments, and I'll see if I can fix it, or even if you just know more on this subject and feel like chatting about it.
> 
> Also, I don't think I state it in the story,so I'll do it here. Dick is twelve, Jason is seven, Tim is five, and Harper and Cullen are four and two.

Bruce tried his best to keep his kids out of the media, and for the most part, he succeeded. There were probably fewer than twenty pictures of his kids in existence. As Bruce Wayne, it was easy to get restraining orders against paparazzi and ruin their careers if they were too persistent. Unfortunately, one photographer had managed to get a blurry photo of Bruce, Dick, Tim, and Jason at the zoo, and the media was going crazy over it. Bruce was stuck trying to manage the chaos. As he drafted an email to one of the papers that had run the picture, an intern knocked on his office door. 

The intern looked extremely frazzled and nervous, telling him, “Mr Wayne, sir? One of the security guards, um, he found something. You, uh, need to come deal with it.”

Bruce wants to ask what it is, but he doesn't want to stress the intern further. “Lead the way.” he says.

They step off the elevator and make their way to the security break room on the first floor, where a security guard waits with two children. The older one is a girl with brown hair. She’s not much older than a toddler, probably around four years old. The younger one is a boy, who looks to be just a baby. He is in a carrier, and the girl sits next to him on the break room couch, watching the adults warily.

Bruce is, obviously, surprised. “What’s this?” he asks, bewildered.

The security guard answers, “I found them outside, sir. They were alone, and this was attached to the carrier.”

He hands Bruce a piece of paper. On it are two names, Harper and Cullen, and birth dates for each. The girl, who must be Harper, is four, but the date says the boy, Cullen, is two. Bruce looks at him again and frowns in concern. He looks like he’s younger than that, and now that Bruce is looking closer, he doesn't look healthy.

Bruce thinks for a moment, then tells the intern and the security guard, “I’ll take care of it.” To the intern, he says, “Can you find some juice boxes and snacks?”

He approaches the girl and sits cross-legged in front of her. “Are you Harper?” he asks.

She nods.

He gestures to the boy. “And is this Cullen?”

She nods again.

“Is he your brother?”

“Yes.” she says.

“My name is Bruce. Why were you two all alone outside?”

At this, Harper’s eyes well up with tears. “Mama said to stay there, and she said go with the man with a walkie-talkie after she leaves, but there was a lot of people, and I couldn't see him, and he came by himself and she didn't…”

Harper trails off with a trembling lip.

“It’s alright, Harper.” Bruce says soothingly. “He found you, and I’m going to make sure you and your brother are safe now. I promise.”

“Promise?” she sniffles.

“Promise.” he repeats, sticking up his pinky finger. She curls her own pinky finger around his.

“Did your mom say anything else to you?” Bruce asks.

A little furrow appears in her brow as she thinks. “She said I love you, and she said goodbye. When is she coming back?”

“I don't know, honey.” Bruce says sadly. 

“Oh.” she frowns. Then her stomach gurgles.

“Are you hungry?” Bruce asks.

Harper nods.

“Okay. Somebody is coming with some food soon. Can you wait for a little bit?”

“Yeah.” she says.

While they wait for the intern to come back, Bruce keeps Harper occupied with conversation, and even manages to make her laugh once. Cullen keeps sleeping, and Bruce keeps an eye on him, vaguely worried for the infant.

Then the intern comes back, and Harper gets her food. She doesn't move from beside her brother while eating. Afterwards, Bruce cancels the meeting he was at the office for, and decides to go home. He calls the family’s social worker to inform them of his newest foster cases, and calls ahead to Alfred, so he can be prepared. He tells Harper, “I’m going to take you to my house. You can stay there while we find out when your mom is coming back.”

Harper looks distressed. “But what if she comes an’ we’re gone?”

Bruce says, “If she comes back, then the man with the walkie-talkie can tell her where you are. She told you to go with him, so she knows that he would know where you went. Okay?”

“Kay.” she says, reassured. On the way out, she waves goodbye to the security guard.

Bruce buckles the two of them into the car as best as he can without the proper car seats, and brings them home. His kids have school, so they aren't home when Bruce brings Harper and Cullen home. It’s only Alfred and the dog there to greet them. Thankfully, Alfred has gotten most of what they need.

Not long after they get home, Cullen wakes up and starts crying. From where she has been playing with some toys, Harper gets up and rushes to his side. “He’s hungry.” she tells Bruce with wide eyes.

Having already deduced that for himself, Bruce brings him to the kitchen, where Alfred gives him some puree. Bruce tries to feed it to Cullen, but he spits most of the mouthful back out, and resists when Bruce tries again.

“He eats slow.” Harper says helpfully.

Bruce waits a few minutes, then tries again. Cullen only takes a very small mouthful, but Bruce waits for him to swallow then gives him another bite. He keeps doing this, and it goes slowly, but he makes progress. However, Cullen only makes it through less than half a portion before he protests. Bruce tries to coerce him, saying, “Come on, sweetheart. You need to eat more. Please? Just a little bit more.”

He manages to get to a full half portion, before he decides to try again later. In the meantime, he gets out the laptop with a connection to the computer in the Cave to do research on Harper and Cullen. He runs a search and comes up with matches in the city’s records. Two birth certificates for Harper Row and Cullen Row with dates matching the note. Their mother is Miranda Row, a woman with three below minimum wage jobs, struggling to make ends meet without the help of her husband, Marcus Row, who is in jail.

Records show Miranda going to the doctor often for Cullen, but she hadn't had enough money for much, except for checkups that did nothing except tell her something was wrong. Even that put her in debt. She must have given up her children so they could get what they needed.

Once Bruce has decided he has enough information for now, he shuts off the laptop. He watches the two siblings, and plays with them a bit, sitting Cullen down on the rug with a few blocks he’d found in the room. He gives Harper a toy too and sits cross-legged on the floor with them. He also tells them a bit about his other kids. He says, “I have three sons. The youngest is a year older than you, Harper.”

“Oh.” Harper says. “Are they nice?”

“They’re very nice. I’m sure they’ll love you.” Bruce reassures her.

“Okay.”

Some time later, they hear the sounds of the other kids coming home with Alfred. “Babi?” Dick calls.

“In here Dickie.” Bruce calls back. Alfred will have already told them about Harper and Cullen.

A few seconds later, the three boys come in. Jason goes straight to Bruce. “Hi Dad.” he says as he hugs him.

“Hi Jay.” Bruce replies. “Did you have a good day at school?”

Jason nods. Dick focuses on their new guests. “Hi.” he says to them. “I’m Dick.”

Tim sidles up to Bruce to press against his side, and Bruce puts his arm around him in a side hug. “These are Harper and Cullen.” he tells the boys. “They’re going to be staying with us for a while.”

They accept it easily. Tim approaches Cullen shyly. The tiny boy blinks up at him and smiles hesitantly. “Hi.” Tim says.

“Hi.” Cullen says back.

“I’m Harper.” the girl says to Dick and Jason.

“Hi, Harper.” Jason says. “I’m Jason.”

Dick adds, “Wanna see a cool trick?”

When Harper nods, he grins. Tim points to him and tells Cullen, “Look.”

Dick falls forward onto his hands and pushes himself up into a handstand. Then, he lifts one hand from the ground and waves at them from his upside down position.

Cullen giggles and claps his hands, and Harper gushes, “Woah! That’s so cool! How can you do that? Can I do that?”

“You gotta practice first, little birdie.” Dick tells her with a smile.

“I’m not a bird.” Harper says, confused.

“It’s a nickname, silly.”

“Not silly.” Harper pouts. “Do you have a nickname?”

“Yup. Dick is a short form of Richard, and Babi calls me chum sometimes. Tim and Jay call me Big Bird, and people call me Dickie and Dickiebird sometimes too.”

“That’s a lot.”

“Yeah. But that’s okay, because they love me.”

“If people love you they call you a different name?”

“Not always. But sometimes, yes.”

“Oh. Does that mean you love me?”

“Well, I called you little birdie because you’re little, and cute, but also because you’re going to live with us, so you and Cullen are going to be like our little brother and sister.”

Harper makes a face at the “little and cute” part, but she says happily, “Oh. Okay. I never had a big brother.”

“Now you have three!” Dick says cheerily.

Bruce should have seen where this was going. Alfred sees his face and gives him a look, and Bruce gives him a look back. He wouldn't have had the heart to correct them anyway.

Tim and Jason chime in to agree with Dick’s statement. “What are their nicknames?” Harper asks.

Dick explains, “We call Jason Jay most of the time, and I call him Little Wing. Babi calls him Jay-lad sometimes, and once one of my friends called him Jaybird, but he didn't like it. Tim is short for Timothy. We call him Timmy sometimes to tease him, and I like to call him Baby Bird. Also, Babi calls him baby more than me and Jay.”

“Why are there lots of bird names?”

Dick pauses for a second before answering. “My mom used to call me Robin, so I call them bird names, because they’re family.”

“Where’s your mom?” Harper asks a bit cautiously, sensing Dick’s solemn mood.

“My mom and my dad died when I was little.” Harper looks stricken, so Dick adds, “It’s okay, birdie. I have Tim and Jay, and Babi is my dad now. I have a family.”

Harper nods a bit sadly, but Dick nudges her. “Hey, Jay can do tricks too. You wanna see another one?”

She nods a bit more enthusiastically, and Jason smiles at her before doing a backwards handspring. She whispers, “Cool!”

“I know, right?” Jason says. “Dickie’s an acrobat, and he teaches us all sorts of cool stuff.”

Harper turns to Dick immediately. “Can you teach me? Can you?”

Dick laughs. “Sure. I’ll teach you a bit later. First we have to get you good training clothes. Babi can buy some for you.”

“Okay.” Harper chirps. A second later, she asks, “Does Cullen get a nickname too?”

They all stop to think. Then Jason pipes up, “I’m gonna call him Lee.”

Harper gives him a puzzled frown. “Why?”

“I dunno.” Jason shrugs. “It sounds good.”

“Kiwi.” Tim says. When everyone looks at him, he adds, “It’s a bird.”

“And a fruit.” Jason says skeptically.

“Cause he’s sweet like a fruit!” Dick says. He plops down beside Cullen, wraps his arms around him and squeezes gently. Cullen makes a soft sound of surprise, but he smiles and leans into Dick. Dick coos, “I think he’s a cute little chick. Or a chickadee.”

“You’re weird.” Harper declares. Dick sticks his tongue out at her, and she returns the gesture.

Bruce stands up. “Alright. This is getting silly. Do you boys want to show Harper and Cullen your toys?”

“Okay.” Jason says enthusiastically. He stands and tugs on Tim’s arm to pull him up. Bruce goes to pick up Cullen, but Dick shakes his head and picks him up himself. Bruce watches him carefully as he starts to walk with the little boy, but Dick doesn't have any trouble. Harper follows Jason and Tim as they leave the room, and Dick comes after them, Bruce trailing behind the pack of kids.

While the kids play together, Bruce remarks to Alfred, “We’ll have to go see Leslie. Cullen apparently has some medical problems, and I’ll have to look into their mother later tonight.”

Alfred asks, “I assume they will be staying here at least until this is resolved?”

“Yes.” Bruce answers. “That’s what I’d like to do.”

“Alright. The boys seem to like them already.” Alfred comments.

Bruce makes a small noise of acknowledgement. Sometimes it scares him, seeing their youthful readiness to trust and love. He can't help but be afraid for them. He finds it difficult to remember a time when he was like that, and to him it’s normal to be wary of forming relationships with other people, influenced by his fear of losing them, whether through circumstance or through betrayal. But the few times he has tried to distance himself, there has always been Alfred and the kids, reminding them simply by their presence in his life of the reasons not to do such a thing.

Later, after Harper and Cullen are in bed and Dick, Jason, and Tim are in the Cave until their bedtime, Batman sets out into the city and heads to Miranda Row’s apartment building. He wants to talk to her about Harper and Cullen, and about why she gave them up. He can guess that it’s because she had felt she couldn't provide for them, especially with Cullen’s medical needs and her absent husband, but Bruce wants to discuss her options with her, and tell her that the situation isn't hopeless. As Bruce Wayne, he could help her financially, and maybe get her a job at W.E. so she doesn't have to give her children up for adoption. He wants to tell her that she still has hope.

He parks the Batmobile in an unlit alley not far from her building. He swings up to the adjacent rooftop and approaches the apartment building. On the roof of the building across the street from Miranda’s building, he stops. On the street below, there is a small cluster of people. They are gathered around someone on the ground. Batman realizes it’s a body, fallen from the building. Batman swings across to the other building. He doesn't see any signs of a scuffle, so it’s probably a suicide. He swings down to street level, examining any ledges as he goes down. Hidden in the shadows, he approaches the scene. With a start, he realizes he’s seen the face before. He recognizes it because he remembers it staring back at him from his computer screen, showing the picture from Miranda Row’s driving licence.

Compartmentalizing his emotions is harder this time, but he stays at the scene for another half hour, gathering evidence and calling the authorities. When he enters Miranda’s apartment, he finds everything tidy and organized, and a box of children’s clothing and toys labeled “Harper and Cullen” is sitting on the floor. For a few moments, he pauses and bows his head. Only for a few seconds, his shoulders drop too.

Not for the first time, he’s glad the boys in the Cave can only get audio from his comms, and that all they know is that he’s working and moving around. He doesn't know what to tell them about this, let alone what to tell Harper and Cullen.

After he leaves, he does his planned patrol. The whole time, he mulls over the situation. He thinks there is no way to avoid telling them that their mother is dead. He wishes he didn't have to, but he does. How she died can at least be saved until they are older. It would probably be best if they stayed with him for the time being. Another change to where they live, on top of doctor’s appointments and possibly even hospital visits, and being told their mother is dead, would be highly and unnecessarily distressing.

Slowly, over the course of the night, the sadness seeps into his mind despite his efforts to focus only on the facts of the situation. Being Batman, he is in no way new to situations that create orphans. Over and over again, he has to face murderers that have orphaned countless children, but when there is no explanation for the orphan, it is by far the worse situation. The deaths caused by desperation, carelessness, negligence, or even just simple circumstance are the deaths that hit him the hardest. 

Miranda Row didn't have to die. There are countless places in her story that it could have turned out better. If her husband hadn't been a criminal. If she hadn't been poor. If she had access to free Healthcare. If she knew about Leslie’s clinic, or about other options available to her. If someone had helped her get medical care, someone like Bruce Wayne. If she could have talked to someone about the way she had felt after she gave up her children because she thought she had no other choice. If Batman had gotten there sooner.

For just a moment, Bruce lets himself feel tired of the deaths. He loves his children, so much it hurts, but if he could give them back what they had lost? If only he could fix what had been taken from them? There would be nothing that could stop him from doing it. It would destroy him to lose them, but wouldn't it be more than worth it? It is a small price to pay for their happiness, one he would pay in a heartbeat.

Now though, he is left once again with lost and parentless children, and though he wishes with all his heart that things hadn't turned out this way, these children are his responsibility now. Bruce returns from patrol feeling drained. Alfred notices his mood, but he doesn't comment on it. 

On the way to bed, he checks on the kids, who have long since gone to bed. Harper and Cullen are sound asleep, and so are the boys, but Bruce finds Tim sleeping with Dick. On any given night, there’s about a fifty-fifty chance that Bruce will end up with at least one of his children in his bed, but Dick’s is the go-to room when the boys can’t crawl into bed with Bruce, and it looks like Tim took advantage of that tonight. Bruce takes comfort in the knowledge that at least the kids have each other.

The next morning, Bruce is more serious than usual, and he’s sure the boys have realized it, because they are also a bit more subdued. He tries to at least smile for them, but he doesn't think it works. After breakfast, he sits down in front of Harper and Cullen. He asks Harper, “How do you like it here?”

Harper answers, “I like it. Dick and Jay and Tim are really nice and fun to play with! And your house is huge!”

Bruce smiles faintly. “That’s good. You’re going to live here for a while.”

Harper’s eyes widen, “Really, can we stay forever?”

“Yes.”

“Cool.” Harper says, but then she frowns slightly. “What about Mommy?”

“Harper,” Bruce says, “your mom is gone.”

Her blue eyes wide with shock and fear, she asks, “Is she dead?”

Bruce closes his eyes briefly. He puts a hand on Harper’s arm. “Yes. She is.”

Harper’s voice breaks as she cries, “No! Please, no-”

She collapses into tears, and Bruce pulls her into his arms. Beside them, Cullen hears his sister crying and reaches a hand out to her, whimpering, “Ha’per,” as he begins to cry too. Thankfully, Alfred is there, and he picks Cullen up to comfort him.

Bruce just holds Harper, murmuring, “I’m sorry,” and “It’s going to be alright.”

Bruce looks to Alfred, who is looking at Cullen sadly. The little boy has cried himself out and is dozing off. Alfred looks up to meet Bruce’s eye. “I’ll go put this one to bed.” he says. Then, as he passes, he places a reassuring hand on his charge’s shoulder. “We’ll be alright.”

Bruce gives him a nod. “Thank you, Alfred.” he says.

Alfred pats his shoulder wordlessly and leaves.

Then Harper sniffles from Bruce’s hold. “I’m scared.” she whispers.

“I know.” Bruce says softly. “But I’m going to look after you and Cullen now, and I promise, whenever you feel sad or scared, you can tell me, and I’ll help. You don't have to be worried. You’re going to be okay.”

Harper takes a shaking breath and holds on tighter.

The day after, Bruce takes Harper and Cullen to Leslie. She raises her eyebrows, but doesn't comment beyond a smile. She does a basic checkup for both of them, but she frowns when she listens to Cullen’s heart and takes his weight.

She asks, Bruce lists his symptoms, “He has very low energy, and he sleeps a lot. He doesn't eat very much, and when he does, he eats very slowly. He also doesn't seem to have met most of the developmental milestones for his age. He doesn't have the speech complexity he should have, he mostly only walks with support, and I don't think I’ve seen him try to run.”

Leslie nods and continues with her examination. Afterwards, she tells him, “Harper could use some more meat on her bones, but she’s in perfect health. I assume you came to see me about Cullen though. When I listened to his heart, there was a small murmur. I think whatever is wrong with his heart is the cause for his delayed development, but I don’t know exactly what it is. You’ll have to go to a cardiologist, and they can do the tests that will tell you exactly what is wrong. You’ll also need to see a pediatrician. They’ll help with the developmental problems. I can give you a referral, and you should be able to get an appointment within a week.”

“Thank you Leslie.” Bruce says.

Leslie makes an appointment for them with a cardiologist to get an echocardiogram, and she gives them the names of a few good pediatricians. The appointment is for a few days later, and Cullen can't eat for six hours before the test. When they go to the appointment at the hospital, they sedate Cullen to perform the test, which is essentially an ultrasound for his chest. Afterwards, while they wait for Cullen to wake up, the cardiologist discusses the results with Bruce.

Bruce is told, “Cullen has a Ventricular Septal Defect, which most people call a hole in the heart. Sometimes a hole is small enough to close on its own, and when it isn't, it’s usually treated quickly with an operation to close the hole, but since Cullen’s hasn't been treated, it has caused complications. The hole wasn't small enough to close, and it was big enough to cause problems, but the good news is that if it had been any bigger, it may have caused his heart to fail. However, his heart isn't as capable of supplying his body with what it needs, which is the reason for the developmental delays.”

Bruce asks, “What can be done to fix it?”

“An operation can close the hole, and he can be prescribed medication to help his heart get stronger. You’ll also need to focus on proper nutrition to help him grow.”

They end up scheduling a time for the operation for five days later, and Bruce gets as much information as he can on VSDs and the operation.

Overall, Bruce isn't very worried. He is slightly nervous about how Cullen’s health and development might be affected long-term, but the information he’s been given tells him that Cullen’s condition can be treated easily, and that there is a very high chance that everything will go smoothly and without complications. Harper however, doesn't feel the same way. When Bruce tells the kids about Cullen’s operation, she starts to cry.

Bruce, concerned, asks, “Harper? What’s wrong?”

She says, “I do-don’t want him to die!”

Dick immediately grabs her in a hug. Jason puts a hand on her arm, and Tim offers her his stuffed bunny. Bruce has to smile at that.

Bruce says to her, “Harper, Cullen is not going to die.”

When Dick releases her, he puts a hand on her face to wipe away a tear. “Harper, look at me.” he says gently. “I promise, your brother is going to be just fine. And I’m going to tell you a secret.”

She blinks at him curiously. “I am Batman. Do you know what that means?”

Wide-eyed, she shakes her head. “It means I know a lot of stuff that other people don't. And it means I wouldn't lie to you. So when I say that Cullen will be fine, I say it because I know that it’s true. Do you understand?”

Harper sniffles and nods. Bruce pulls her into a hug. “It’s going to be okay, honey.”

Finally, she says in a small voice, “Promise?”

“I promise.” he says firmly.

Then Dick is hugging both of them, and then Tim and Jason are too, and Bruce adjusts his hold so his arms are around all of them. “Love you all.” he whispers.

A couple hours later, Harper comes to him to ask, “Can I see your Batman stuff?”

He smiles and takes her down to the Cave.

When it is time for Cullen’s operation, Bruce is in the waiting room, four kids piled on top of him, and Alfred beside them with a bag stuffed full of whatever Cullen might need. Bruce has his eyes closed and his head is resting against the wall behind him when somebody asks him bemusedly, “How many children do you have?”

He answers without thinking, “Fi - six.”

Then he opens his eyes and frowns at the ceiling. “Three. I have three kids. Legally.”

He turns his head to look at who had asked the question and blinks confusedly at Selina Kyle. She raises her eyebrow at the  _ four _ kids in his lap. “The other three?” she asks.

“Two.” he corrects. “Foster kids.”

“And the last one?”

“The daughter of a friend. She babysits.”

“So six kids.” she says teasingly. “You look good for having six kids.”

He gives her a flat look, then looks to where Alfred was, only to find that he has disappeared. Dick has fallen asleep on his arm, Jason is playing games on Bruce’s phone, and Tim and Harper are watching Selina curiously.

“What are you doing here?” Bruce asks Selina.

She holds up a bandaged arm. “A cat scratched me, and it got infected.”

Bruce winces sympathetically and she asks, “You?”

“The youngest is having an operation.”

“Is everything okay?” she asks with a small frown.

“Yes. It’s a birth defect that went untreated, but it’s supposed to be simple to fix.”

“That’s good.”

Bruce smiles in agreement, then Alfred returns with a cup of coffee for Bruce and juice boxes for the kids. Selina steps away, saying, “I hope it goes well.”

“Thanks.” Bruce tells her as she leaves, then he takes the coffee from Alfred. “You didn't get anything for yourself?”

Alfred answers, “They did not have any adequate tea, so I settled for water. Why was Miss Kyle here?”

“A cat scratch that got infected.”

“Ah. You have chosen her as your date for several recent galas.” Alfred remarks.

“She’s good company.” Bruce says. “Far better than most of the people at the galas.”

“I shudder to think of what you consider to be bad company.” Alfred says dryly.

Bruce frowns. “Regardless of her  _ occupation _ , she is a good person. Better than a lot of people.”

“I hope so, sir.” Alfred says.

Bruce says nothing, and Dick wakes up from his nap. Jason tells him, “Selina was here.”

“Aw.” Dick says groggily. “Why didn't anybody tell me? Selina’s cool.”

Jason responds, “I just did.”

The two end up sticking their tongues out at each other after Bruce gives them a warning look not to start bickering. Then Harper falls asleep, curled up in the crook of Bruce’s arm. When the doctor comes in to tell them that the operation is over and they can go see Cullen, Bruce nudges all his children off of him and hands the still-sleeping Harper to Alfred. She whines unhappily, “Dad.”

Bruce replies distractedly, gathering empty cups and juice boxes, “Just a few minutes, honey.”

Then Dick makes a noise like a barely restrained squeal. Bruce looks over at him, and then the reason registers. He smiles slightly as he shushes Dick before he says something. He hands the bag of their things to Alfred while he takes Harper back. “It’s okay,” he says. “Go back to sleep.”

He takes Tim’s hand, the others following, and they go to find Cullen’s room. Cullen is still asleep, and he’ll have to stay at the hospital until the end of the day for observation, but the doctor tells them that the operation went well. Bruce receives some instructions for Cullen’s recovery, and they all settle in to wait.

When they can finally take Cullen home, all the kids go to bed immediately, exhausted from the long day at the hospital. Bruce is tired too, so his patrol is short, but when he comes back, he finds all his kids, even Harper and Cullen, in his bed. 

He checks on Cullen, but he’s sleeping soundly, and nothing seems to be wrong. The other kids are arranged around him protectively, conscious of the fact that he’s still recovering from his operation. Bruce shifts Jason over a bit and gets into the bed, trying not to wake them. Jason opens his eyes for a second, but closes them again when he sees it’s just Bruce. Tim stirs, making an incoherent noise in his sleep and Bruce presses a kiss to his forehead. Tim settles, resting his head on Bruce’s shoulder. Bruce rearranges Dick’s limbs so he isn't taking up all the space, but his leg sticks back out into Bruce’s personal space, and he lays his arm over Harper. Bruce thinks that Dick is probably old enough that he should be sleeping in his own bed most of the time, but for now, it’s fine.

Cullen’s recovery goes well. He bounces back easily, and is quickly improving, better than before the operation. He starts to eat more easily, and starts to grow faster too. He still sleeps a lot, but now it’s because he’s growing, and not because he doesn't have enough energy. 

Leslie says she thinks he’ll be getting some major growth spurts, similar to the ones Jason had. Jason had been small for his age, but once he was being fed properly, he had grown like a beanstalk. Bruce had looked into it, and Jason’s father was a fairly large man, and while his biological mother wasn't large, she wasn't petite either, so Jason’s growth indicated that he would also have a larger build when he was grown. Cullen, however, Bruce doubts will grow that drastically. The heart defect has definitely had a major impact on his growth, and he will be doing some catching up, but Harper is also small for her age, and Bruce thinks that’s from genetics and not malnourishment like it was in Jason’s case. From what Bruce could gather, neither of their parents had big body types, so Cullen is probably always going to be on the smaller side.

Cullen also has more energy, though that also allows Bruce to realize that his personality is pretty mellow, and that it wasn't just his medical problems that made him calm and easy-going. Bruce thinks that will be good, since it balances out Dick and Jason’s high-strung personalities. Harper seems to be pretty outgoing, while Tim has always been quiet.

Bruce doesn’t have much difficulty adopting Harper and Cullen, mainly because he has good lawyers that were able to get Marcus Row to give up parental rights, but he thinks his social worker is annoyed with him. It’s one thing to adopt an orphan from a local orphanage, but it’s another thing entirely when the orphan is from another country, or still has living parents, or when he’s trying to adopt them with little to no social services involvement. Tim’s adoption was at least fairly straightforward.

One day, Bruce walks past a doorway and peeks into the room as he passes, only to backtrack immediately. Dick and Cullen are in the room, Dick standing nearby while Cullen sits on Ace’s back as if the dog is a horse.

“Hey, no!” Bruce sweeps forward and scoops Cullen off the dog’s back. Cullen pouts, “Doggy!”

Bruce puts Cullen on the ground, and he waves his arms at the dog. Ace lays down obligingly in front of Cullen, and the little boy pats his head. Meanwhile, Bruce says to Dick, “Dick, you can't do that. He could have fallen, and the dog can't catch him.”

Dick ducks his head. “Sorry.” he says.

“It’s alright.” Bruce says. “I’m not mad, I just got really worried.”

“I could have caught him just fine though.”

Bruce sighs lightly. “You’re right. Why don't you give Cullen a ride instead?”

Dick brightens. “Hey, Cullen. Do you want me to give you a ride?”

“Yeah!” Cullen abandons petting Ace to run closer to Dick. Dick picks him up and puts him on his shoulders, and they leave the room giggling.

A few minutes later, they’re back, and they’re being followed by the other three kids, who are begging for a turn. “I want a turn! I want a turn! Give me a ride!”

Dick laughs. “Okay, okay. Hey, maybe I can carry all of you at once.”

He gets down on his hands and knees, Cullen still sitting on his shoulders, and tells the others to get on. Harper sits behind Cullen, her legs dangling next to Dick’s arms. Tim and Jason sit behind them, Jason seated right at the base of Dick’s back.

Bruce, still in the room, says apprehensively, “Dick…”

“I got it.” Dick says. He slowly starts to put one hand and knee in front of the other. He only gets a few feet before he stops. “I don't got it. You’re all too heavy.”

They all get off, and Dick kneels, gesturing to Harper. “Okay, that didn't count. Cullen had a turn, now it’s Harper’s turn.”

Harper climbs onto Dick’s back, piggyback style, since she’s too big to sit on his shoulders. He gets up and jogs around the room, adding in spins and dips, and Harper squeals with laughter.

Bruce sits on the couch to watch them, grabbing a book from the side table. After Harper, Dick gives Tim and then Jason piggyback rides too, then they move on to ‘horseback rides’. They spend a good half-hour figuring out who can carry who and how many each person can carry. Then they all turn to Bruce.

“How many can Dad carry?” Jason asks.

“He can carry us all horseback probably.” Tim says.

“Do it standing up!” Harper adds.

“Come on Babi, please?” Dick pleads.

“Please?” Cullen mimics.

Bruce stares at them, and they stare back. “Fine.” Bruce sighs. “But we’re staying next to the couch, so if any of you start to slip, you can land there.”

They all cheer and rush over to him. Bruce kneels on the ground. “Alright, Dick, you hold on to my neck.” he directs after he takes a moment to create some semblance of a plan.

Dick wraps his arms around Bruce’s neck and his legs around his waist. Then Bruce picks up Harper and puts her on his shoulders, over Dick’s arms. He picks up Cullen with one arm, and Tim with the other, before he realizes that won't work. He gives Cullen to Jason to hold, then picks up Jason with his remaining arm.

Before he tries to stand, he asks, “Is everyone holding on? Harper, are you good?”

Dick adjusts his grip so he’s clinging to Bruce with mostly his legs, and he places his arms more securely around Harper. “I’ve got her.” he says.

“Okay. Jason, do you have Cullen? He’s not slipping?”

“Yep.” Jason chirps.

“Alright, here we go.” Bruce slowly and carefully gets to his feet, and none of them wobble or fall.

“Yeah!” Harper cheers.

“Let’s show Alfie!” Tim says.

“We’re not moving.” Bruce reminds him.

“Alfie!” he calls. “Alfie!”

Jason and Dick join him, and Alfred appears quickly. As soon as he takes in the scene, he shakes his head with a small fond smile. Then he pulls out a camera and snaps a picture. Startled, Bruce blinks several times, while Dick says, “Hey! You didn't say ‘smile’!”

Alfred says, “My apologies, Master Dick. Would you like me to retake the picture?”

All the kids voice their agreement, and Alfred smiles while raising the camera again. “Smile!” he tells them.

Then, just as Alfred is taking the picture, Jason starts to lose his grip on Cullen. “Cullen’s falling!” he exclaims.

Bruce tries to adjust his grip to hold onto him, but Cullen just slips further, so he flops backwards onto the couch to save them, and all the kids fall into a giggling pile on top of Bruce. Bruce lets out a chuckle of his own, and then he hears the click of the camera again. He looks up to smile proudly at Alfred, and Alfred smiles back.

Later, Bruce comes down with the flu, so to let him get some rest and to prevent him from getting the kids sick, Alfred takes all the kids with him on his errands. He has to wonder whether it’s a mistake, when as soon as they enter the first store, Jason asks, “Can I push the cart?”

Immediately, Harper says, “Affie, can I push the cart?”

Tim, not really knowing what’s going on, says, “I wanna push the cart.”

Dick’s “I can push the cart.” is at least a serious offer.

Cullen is just happy to watch everything from his seat at the front of the cart.

Alfred says, “Master Dick can push the cart.”

Harper and Jason groan, and Tim looks unconcerned.

Ten minutes later, Alfred realizes the cart is lagging behind. He looks back and sees Dick is still pushing the cart, but so is Harper. Harper is walking on her tiptoes, holding onto the handle of the cart while Dick does the actual pushing. Alfred slows his pace. Not even a minute later, Harper gets tired of pushing the cart, and then she’s showing Alfred a brightly-colored box of kids’ snacks. “Can we get it?” she asks eagerly.

Alfred looks at the box. “Do you like raspberries?” he asks, knowing she doesn't. When she says no, he says, “Then you will not enjoy those. They are raspberry-flavoured.”

She pouts, but puts them back. A few minutes later, Alfred looks back again to see Jason struggling to push the cart. He almost runs into another shopper, so Alfred discretely steers the cart by holding onto the end.

In the dairy section, a woman around his age stops them, saying to Alfred, “Oh! Are those your grandchildren? They’re absolutely delightful.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” Alfred says politely. He quickly glances back at the kids, but does a double-take when he realizes Tim isn't with them. “If you’ll excuse me?” he says to the woman.

He takes over steering the cart and retraces his steps, finding Tim an aisle over, staring at a display of cellphones, not realizing he’d fallen behind. Alfred takes him by the hand and resumes shopping.

When he gets to the checkout, he finds a box of popsicles in the cart that he definitely didn't put there. He gives all the children a stern look and gives them to the cashier to put back on the shelf. He tells the kids, “If you really want these, I can make some, but we will not be buying those so-called treats that are nothing but sugar and chemicals.”

This is followed by requests to make them, as well as requests for them to help make them. Alfred agrees, and when they get home, he brings some medicine and food to Bruce, then gathers the kids to help him make popsicles.

The next day, feeling better, Bruce comes down for breakfast. Dick sneaks into the kitchen while Alfred’s back is turned and tries to steal one of the popsicles they had made the day before, but Alfred stops him with, “Master Dick, did you enjoy your breakfast?”

Dick mumbles, “I didn't eat it.”

Alfred raises an eyebrow. “Goodness! Have you caught Master Bruce’s flu?”

Dick mumbles again, “No, Alfred.”

“Is there another reason you might not have eaten your breakfast?”

“No, Alfred.”

“Then I suggest you eat it. It will grow cold.”

“Yes, Alfred.” Dick says sheepishly and returns to the dining room.

Bruce chuckles and picks up the newspaper, but his mirth dies when he gets a text from Selina. It says,  _ “What’s the number now?” _ and it has a link attached that goes to a tabloid article. The article features a picture of Alfred pushing a shopping cart, and Bruce’s five kids following him.

Bruce groans and shows the picture to Alfred. Alfred’s lips twist in displeasure. “They didn't get my good side.”

Bruce gives him a dry look. He pats Bruce’s shoulder. “In all seriousness, I do apologize. I was rather preoccupied with ensuring none of the children disappeared, and I did not see the photographer. But don’t fret, my boy. It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

Bruce grumbles. “Doesn't mean I have to like it.”

“No.” Alfred agrees. “But you can’t exactly run away to a deserted island, now, can you?”

Bruce makes a face, and Alfred gives him an unimpressed look. “If, for some odd reason, you do decide to run away to a deserted island, you can be sure I will not be joining you.”

Bruce gives him a sheepish look. “Noted.”

Alfred nods. “Now, if you would please go ensure your children have not started a food fight? I will bring out your breakfast shortly.”

Bruce’s lips twist up in a half-smile. “Thanks Alfred.”

**Author's Note:**

> I remember when my siblings and I were little, I was always the one giving the piggyback rides and the horseback rides because I'm the oldest. Good times.
> 
> Also, I keep thinking of Bruce's kids as "not that many", maybe because I'm in a family of four kids, and my mom was in a family of fifteen kids.
> 
> Also, I keep thinking about a different version of that scene of Bruce carrying all his kids at once, and the number of kids has doubled, and half of them are adults, except Bruce can apparently bench press a thousand pounds, so he can do it just fine, and its basically just Bruce holding up a ball of kids. Also, Selina is off to the side and she will laugh if anybody falls.
> 
> Anyway, that's that. Tell me what you think. I love to hear your feedback. What did you like? What didn't you like? Did you notice anything interesting about the story?
> 
> The next installment in the series is going to be tricky, mainly because I want to mention Talia. I'm not sure where to go with her, because the two main characterizations of her, in both canon and fanon, are polar opposites, so I'm a bit stuck. If anybody knows any stories with a well-written Talia, feel free to share them in the comments.


End file.
